[Personal] What does it really mean when you say, "Follow your dream?"

I've been out of the corporate world for almost 8 months already. WOW that long. Its a personal decision and I was not laid off. Well yeah if you follow my blog, you should know how Isotretinoin brought out the worst in me. When I started this year, I was ready to face the world again but the thing is, recession came hitting me like a splash of cold water. I apply in there, sorry there's no opening and we are freeze hiring and the blahs. The next thing I know another month has passed again and I am still unemployed. By the way, this is how my homebased job started. I need to save money and I found a way thru oDesk. I really thought of this as a career but again, the big R is here again. My buyers are tightening their budget. They dont give continuos projects. Some bogus and scams are abusing my lack of knowledge in this unknown world of internet. I am still learning.

Am I really ambitious?
I dont have a simple dream. I like to do things a lot. I am the type of person who cannot sit still in one corner unless I have computer and internet. I think I am a jill of all trades. I can do a lot and if you ask me to do this thing, I can work on it not really in an expert way, fyi but at least I have knowlege about it. Now the thing is, since I am aware of a lot of things, I am not really sure on which field to pursue on.

I really want to settle right now. I am young and driven but I want to stop this eclectic learning and just focus on one certain field. This one should be able to sustain me well throughout my life and a family of my own in the future.

Unfortunately, the degree that I acquired is not really in demand. I could use it and study further like in pre-school or special education. I can use that as a tool to work for other countries.
This is what I really want, to move out of this country and save cha-chings. Another motivation is that I have a lot of close friends in a specific country. I want to be with them in the same place.

But then the roaming question in my head is, do I really see myself in a long term with that career? teaching kids in other countries? PS. Dennis the menace and Little rascals program is in my mind right now.

Studying will take at least a year plus another years to practice before a foreign employer will hire you. PLUS I need to become a LET passer in order to teach. SO that means...investing money and a lot of time.

Well as I have said at the introduction of my entry, to find a work here is another goal. I had a couple of interviews. Why I didn't accept any of them? I felt I will just end up again into the tiring cycle. Non of them would offer me a big cha ching to support my current living. Ah! how unfortunate it is for this country to have this kind of compensation for professional people like us.

Now the next one is what if I study web designing? I am a graphic artist by nature but I do have below average learning when it comes to html, css, php, mysql. This is where my ambition comes in...You see the real Cecily that I am envisioning within the next few years is one who has a title in her business card that says: Cecily, Web Designer and Graphic Artist. Isnt't that cool??? WOAH. This is where my heart comes in.

My college degree: speed of 75kph normal.
Web Designing: speed of 100kph in loops.

I found a school where it can teach me those web design lessons for a few days. Woot. Now if I pursue this, then I wont be rejected in interviews anymore in oDesk when the buyer asks me if I know MySQL and the likes.

The next question is, can I use this as my way of working in other countries? Yes if I will take another degree. IT specifically. I am not supergenius to learn everything within few days. I am just ambitious.

Now this leaves me with one option. The fastest way to succeed at least for now is to pursue further studies of my degree.

NOW NOW NOW.

How ADD/ADHD like is this entry, no?

♥,
Cecily