Spouse Visa Denied

Yep. It hurts.

Sorry for the lack of post but I received a bad news this Wednesday and the immigration said they cannot grant me my spouse visa unless for special reasons like sickness or pregnancy (cant get preggers now, its out of our financial planning). Wth? So you mean loving my husband is not legitimate for us to be together?! How could they do this to us. 😭😭😭

I was given 30 days and when I comeback home in Pinas, hubby can only apply for the Certificate of Eligibility. And that has chances of denial again! Ugh. Lord, help us!

I cant bear to be LDR with my hubby again. 😭😭😭

Today, I spent the whole day calling different lawyers in the payphone as I dont have phone. In Japan, you need to be a resident to have one. My gawd. I defied the cold winter weather. Dried up my throat for explaining. Spent almost 5k Yen for the cards and still it left me confused. One lawyer said, we can reapply again and dont have to go back to PH (Just pay 100k+ yen and counting, yeah ryt.) But guess what...three lawyers said no...you need to go back thats the rule. Wahhhhhh.

Omg. Hope we can surpass this.

Im gonna miss being a housewife...

Laundry in winter

I woke up today as usual around 6:15am. Hubby left for work and I immediately did the laundry. I have this habit of getting things done early before I start procrastinating. The thing is we dont own a laundry dryer (and we will never get one because its exp!) thus we have to go to the coin laundry shop to dry our clothes. This shop is about 13mins walk from home which is really tiring. Last time, I asked the husband to do it but he ended up getting cranky after lol. Know why? 13 mins walk going to the shop + carrying about 5kg or so of laundry + waiting 30 mins for it to dry + 13mins walk again to home. Lol..and the hubby is quite allergic to any household work..

Anyway, Im writing this as I am waiting for the clothes to dry.

Oh before that, I already did the washing at home c/o our washing machine to save cost and time. So while waiting at home for the washing, I quickly finished the 3rd to the last episode of the US drama, The Event. This is me and my hubby's current addiction. We are so addicted that as soon as he comes home from work, he asks me to play the DVD already lol. Its so sweet of him to watch it together with me. I heard of its bad ratings in the US but I dont know - I find it intellectually challenging.

And also, I started the movie: Lost in Translation. Yeah, this is quite old lol but tbh I havent watched this one yet. I have heard of this before but I thought it was all about aliens hahaha. Omg I was shocked when I saw it the cover in the DVD rental shop. Wait a minute? That's Japan! Hahah imagine my surprised face.

I am not sure where I was when that movie came out and why in the hell I didnt know or watched it lol

I am halfway already to the movie and I couldnt stop laughing with Bob Harris' character. And somehow relate to Scarlett..wow feeling Scarlett lol 😆

Fish and Diet update

The fish turned out really nice. I fried 4 fishes so me and hubs have 2 each. I have to be honest...I wasnt able to finish the 2nd fish. I know its tasty but I keep in thinking of its smell...lol. Its still successful and my hubs said, its nice but he commented more positively about the fruit salad I made...lol

About my diet plan. Im happy to say that as of yesterday, I lose 1kg already and .5 inch of stomach fat lol. No kidding. Its really about cutting down meals. Most especially rice. I realized that rice is making me so bloated. Ughhh why rice...i love rice so much esp Japanese rice but anyway, discipline discipline. I am not so disciplined when it comes to eating in between meals tho...lol. I eat chocolate cream crackers 😅 but Ive been cutting down on milk teas and chocolate plus chips. These are my majot weakness. When I was browsing in Kappabashi ytd, omg I completely lost myself with the chocolate area. Hmmm but I still controlled and ate marie biscuit instead. Lol...

Today, my hubby is going home late from work at around 9:30pm probably. I already prepared cordon bleau yesterday for our dinner. I will just steam it later before he arrives.

👋

Ps. This is the practice leche flan that I made for hubs 3 days ago. The consistency needs improvement but he loves it so much. 😆

Cooking Fish

In my pursuit of eating well, I decided to have fish for me and my hubs' dinner. I already pre empted him yesterday that its going to be fish night today. He agreed. Hmm lets see.

Actually, there are only 2 fishes that I eat. Bangus and Tilapia. Both I havent seen in supermarkets here...but I chanced upon this  Tilapia looking yesterday. I thought, why not try this. After all, I eat unknown fishes if its deeply fried..lol yeah yeah fried is not healthy but for a change, we need to eat fish. This fish is also cheap - about 198 yen or two cans of juice in a vendo.

When I put salt in it, I can already smell it...I had about 40% repulsion. So, I thought why not put lemon so it will mask the smell and I did. I marinated that for an hour and then coated it with flour so it will fry properly. It looks successful...but the smell in our small room is everywhere. Omg.

I smelled the newly fried fish. I dont know if its yummy for me...lol but Im gonna try. Back in Sg, my brother punish me like an elementary student for not eating fish. My gosh. What can I do? My taste buds dont agree with most fishes...

Here are the pictures. I am not sure if its Tilapia or Dalagang bukid. It looks pink in raw...i prepared a salsa (tomato, celery, onion and black pepper) alongside.

Btw, this is the first time I cooked fish for the hubby. We usually have pork, beef or chicken and sometimes shrimp for a meal. Waiting for hubby now before eating this. Goodluck...

Diet Day 2

I wasnt that successful yesterday. 😅

1. I didnt reach 10k of steps. Reason: it was pouring and windy in Tokyo. Not so conducive in walking around with summer rubber shoes. 🙅

2. I ate Goldfish Graham Smores in between meals. I was undergoing major withdrawal syndrome with sweets  😭😭😭

3. I made leche flan for hubby and I tasted about 1tbsp cut into 3.

4. I had 4 size of my fist meal yesterday. Time: 7:30/12:30/5:30/9:00 😲😲😲 but I only ate .5 cup (if uncooked) of rice the whole day which is I separated for 4 meals once its cooked. Compared to my previous way of eating: I can eat 1 cup of rice (uncooked) each meal. I cant resist the tasty Japanese rice. 😅

I think my major setback is my hubby. He is so. Um masiba lol. With his habit of eating, he can be obese already but he only has stomach belly. Like me 😅

Here is what he ate yesterday:
1. 3pcs Chicken Pochero
2. 1 cup uncooked rice. 1 full bowl if cooked.
3. 1 instant ramen in spicy seafood
4. 1 3 inch mini leche flan
5. 1 Meiji chocolate chip ice cream
6. Banana

My gosh he is the culprit. Whenever I eat beside him, I feel like I am in an eating contest. Its unvoluntary for me to catch him with his speedy eating. Granted that I cook really good because of my Kapampangan background lol 

Also, he goes home late thus the dinner is late. Yesterday, I ate at 5pm already thinking that I wont eat after 6pm but I failed. While cooking pochero, I couldnt resist the smell....plus while I watch my husband ravage the food = 😢😣

Try again next time...

Today, I woke up at 6:30 and prepared egg whites (extra from leche flan) plus added about 3chunks of pork cut into bits and I sauteed it with onion. I didnt eat rice because I figured, thats a lot of egg whites already. Its not that I choose these ingredients. They are leftovers so its not good to put them to waste.

I am praying that I will be able to curb my appetite well today. 🙏

The Diet Plan

I never expect I will one day write this topic: Diet Plan. I thought acne is my only concern in life lol but as I age (or let say, as I get wiser) - my body has become more difficult to maintain a fat free belly and a firm tighs and biceps. 😳 Im not obese, I just have the "busog" look belly haha. 😂

My Mom is quite plump (lol..) so, you see I have that plump gene...but I grew up very fit as a child. And my relatives know me as someone who maintains her weight really well. Well not until I went to Sg! (Why everything happened in Sg?) Lol. I was 25 when I had difficulty losing weight. I did running at night and gym till I was 26 and quickly regained back my figure.

But I met the ex bf turned husband and I forgot about keeping the weight. I went to Japan and everything is tasty. Next thing I know, I hear familar faces telling me, "you gained weight" or "a bit fat looks good on you" 😒

It looks good before but now! Omg I never imagined myself not being able to wear some of my clothes that I always wear in SG! Sucks...and I feel really heavy now as in. When me and my hubby cuddles, he plays with my tummy and tells me that before it used to be a pancake. Now, its Kuaina's burger. 🙈 *this is his fave burger joint in Tokyo.

And whats alarming is...I have had 2 episodes of nightmare this month. I think this is due to the 10pm heavy dinner with the hubs and the high salt, high fat content of our food! 😱😱😱😱

In short. Its because of my food intake. In short. Ang takaw ko lang. 😂😭🙆🙌

☝👉👉👉The Diet Plan.👈👈👈☝

I dont claim to be diligent but I will try to keep this for two weeks and see if I can survive.

1. Im following Korina's tips here 😅 especially using fist as my meal guide. I dont follow the no carb though. I need rice in my daily energy...but I will cut down on bread. 😟

2. I have my Up band and I will need to track 10k steps everyday at least through walking. I hate exercising in this cold weather but walking -I better not be lazy!

I forgot to track my steps recently and its asking me to take 5k steps today. 5k is so easy.  Naks hehe.

3. Fancl supplement. - this is pending...im apprehensive with anything oral if I have pregnancy scare every month. Btw, I am not yet pregnant and period came a 3 days after my last entry lol 😅

Thats it for now.  Im keeping it simple so I wont feel it very difficult to learn as a habit.

Good luck 🙏

Hisashiburi - its been a while

I typed my everyday routine just now and accidentally clicked - discard changes. 😨😢😩

Darn. I spent 45mins doing that and its gone....

Anyway, I was about to tell my everyday lazy routine. Its so lazy, you might not be interested..also in there, I said my period which should be yesterday hasnt come and Im very paranoid now.

Im trying not to stress to much about it...

I am not in the mood to tell anything after I discarded that post...😒

Ok its time for me to think of what to cook for dinner later...jya! (Laters) 👋

Picture is the dinner I made 2 days ago.

What made me happy today

I'll start to make this a regular. Its similar to "10 things you need to know today" segment of some popular websites. Except, I wont put a number to it. You'll never know how life surprises you...

1. Seeing my husband in his long sleeved polo and dark gray slacks for his work attire. He look so kakkoi (cool in Japanese) 😍

2. Early morning FB conversation with my good friend Beta about our former co-worker's lovelife. We thought, she looks so glowing recently and she has never been like that with her ex of many years lol and her new beau is arab looking like Yilmaz Bektas of Ruffa G. which turned our conversation into green...dot dot dot lol 😰

3. Adobo breakfast. 👅

4. Thinking about our free American buffet last night.

5. Friday! And hubby doesnt have work tomorrow. 😄

Ps. The flower was given by hubs 2 days ago and its still making me happy. 😄

Doing some home improvement

Ive been trying to fix our home so we can make our lives much pleasant despite the lack of space. We live in a mansion. In Japan, they call it mansion but the size of the building is like between a condominum and apartment. We are still trying to save for our next home with a wider space but for now, we will make use of this. 🔨🔧

I want to change the closet that my hubs presently have. It only carries his own jackets and coats (unfair lol). I saw this black moving wardrobe in Ikea's website (picture below) and Im thinking of buying 2. One for me and one for him. I dont think its enough but it will force my hubs to clean his closet lol. Costs roughly 3k Yen each.💡

Now, for the shelves. Our toiletties and his and hers beauty products plus the dish and food keeper are quite unruly so Ive been thinking really hard how to keep it nice looking. I bought these silver metals in Daiso and can be easily assembled. I could post a pic of the outcome but I think it could be improved more...once I finish this project, I will show it. I plan to make it look rustic/bohemian/handcrafted. But Im quite hessitant because it is going to be a dust magnet but we will see...⏳

Im also looking for a cheap small beautiful Christmas tree and decors 🎄. Ive been so busy looking at diferent locations. I just look and dont buy yet. Until I have exhausted all the locations with cheap finds, then I will finally buy lol

I am targetting 💯 yen shops. 300 yen shops are ok too but still expensive for a decor.

Yesterday I went to Seria in Ekimise Asakusa. Very classic shop but not much of a Christmas decor.

Today, I will go to Natural Kitchen in Skytree. Based from Google search, this 💯 yen shop has a lot of cuter stuffs than the ordinary Daiso.

Ttyl! 👋💕💋

Fast Internet today YAY~~

Every 1st of the month, my pocket wifi gets really generous of me and gives me fast as in fast and the furious type of internet speed. So fast that my brain wanted to take advantage of everything I missed!!

Today is Saturday and my ex bf turned husband is out at work but will be going home early and usually weekends is our couple time so I usually prepare to be girly and stuffs but since its also 1st of the month, I feel like my time is so limited...I wanted to download every Japanese subbed dramas I missed and to watch all my fave youtube gurus at the same time. Omg but but I have to prepare to go out and it takes me at least 1.5hrs to to that..gosh 1.5hrs internet time wasted if I prepare and another couple of hours if I leave. It is going to be back to normal on the 2nd day of the month...sad.

By the way, I am typing this using laptop which is very unusual for my pocket wifi. Yes, I can only use the internet at my phone. 

This morning, I have watched three episodes of two dramas already.

1. First Class - Episode 1
2. Kyou wa Kaisha Yasumimasu - Episodes 1 - 2. Episode 3 is not yet subbed. :0

I was watching First Class episode 2 but then I realized that I need to pay my Starhub bill. I couldnt open the darn page for the longest time..so this is my time. I took the chance to change my residential address in my POSB bank. So, when I needed them to send me a new atm card, they can send it over here in my hubs residence.


What else, what else...Okay I cooked Chahan or Chinese Fried Rice for my brunch. Now I feel hungry..

Time to go now and go back watching drama for 1.5hrs and then Im ready to prepare. :)

PS. I really hope I will have a speedy internet soon...

♥, Cecily

Don Quixote

Don Quixote or Donki in short is a famous shopping mall in Japan where you can find almost everything you need but with a very low price than normal retailers. Think about Daiso but an upgrade version. 😆

So yesterday, I woke up early and decided to head to  our neighbor Donki around 8am. Too early for a shopping eh? No worries. Donki is 24hrs. Yay right?!

Cant believe I left home with no make up on. Only my sleeping attire plus thick sweater and neck warmer and I put a surgical facial mask for two purposes: Im recovering and to hide the unmade face 😂

Its so liberating to shop without make up and without people looking horrendously at your face 😲😅

I got so caught up with shopping that I ended up buying a lot. 😨 but my reasoning is...I need to make my purchases over 5k Yen in order to claim the consumer tax free discount. Such a deal right?! Yes and not..

As I was paying my goods, as usual there is a language barrier but the main point is: if Im going to claim the goods as tax free, I cant use the products IN JAPAN. 😲

What?!

But I got my 900 yen discount anyway.

Initially, I just went ahead to avoid the language explanation hassle. I thought, well I can use this anyway but after paying and when I head to the tax free counter, the staff sealed my bag in red tape and chopped my passport!!!! Like its a statement that I wont open my goods until I leave Japan or else  - I hate the or elses!

I couldnt say anything. I just nodded. I walked from home very stressed. Ive got a beauty facial mask there and its a waste not to try it now. I thought all of the products that i need to use even the toilet tank cleaner!!! Lol 😅😆 how can I wait to use this until I leave Japan? Omg I was so stressed. And I cant leave the toilet tank like that. I feel its so blocked. Lol..

In the end, I went back and told the guy to separate the goods that I will be needing in the Japan and the goods that I wont. 😑 I left the Tokyo Love Soap, toothbrush and toothpaste, conditoner, eyeliner and other stuff that I think I wont be needing soon. And the goods that I need? Look into the picture below. Lol...they are not necessary but I cant wait to use them.

The guy replaced the paper in my passport. There are several chops in there and I got irked somehow but at least it got changed to the right receipt. I can breathe now.

Picture 1 goods:
1. The famous toilet cleaner
2. XS gloves - it keeps my nailpolish in good condition for a longer period of time.
3. Barrier Repair Facial Mask HA
4. Shu Uemura small mascara - been wanting this for a while.
5. Chifure Washable Cold Cream - ran out of make up remover and want to try this.
6. Pink Nail polish collection - very girly. I thought ny engagent ring looks good in this.
7. Majolica Majorca Lip Gloss in Pink
8. Majolica Majorca Cheek Liquid Blush - been using this brand a lot these days. I think MM is really a good brand!!

Oh I bought some discounted things from Uniqlo too. Its so fun to shop in Japan...of course I got guilty after buying these...omg bye bye 💴.

😂😂😂

We dont even remember why were fighting

That one came from the lyrics of "Mad" by Ne-Yo.

And its exactly what Im questioning now. Im blogging now while my husband sleeps next to me with his arms and feet wrapped around me. I can barely type with my phone but its okay Id rather suffer to this than not being hugged at all.

With our sweetness right now, you wont believe that we just had an argument awhile ago and its crazy. Lol cause as always, I got emo and he got mad. Its constant. I constantly try to tell him my feelings; he wants to stop it cause its stressing him out. Blah blah. Explaining it is exhausting.

When fights like this happen, I immediately tell myself or sometimes to him: I think I made a mistake of signing the papers. I know I know that is so bad of me. Im not even sure if I mean it.

But when I think of how I love hugging him and how his presence gives me peace...I sure wanted to apologize as quick as possible. Im such a nutz...he is too...he is nutz when he does irrational things when we fight. 👺

Sigh...I hope we get though our differences.

Getting sick in Japan pt 2

As expected, the doctor diagnosed me of pharyngitis. I paid about ¥3080 for the check up and another ¥3080 for the medication. Its a 6day course of antibiotics.

I am still recovering until now. 😷 Im on my 4th day of antibiotics but my throat still looks a bit swollen. Im hoping that this is only bacterial not viral or else its gonna take a while for me to recover.

Anyway, last weekend was the worst for me and I took all my frustrations to my husband lol. Poor guy...its like Im always dissatisfied with him. I always complain that he doesnt take care of me well blah blah. Partly yeah but I just noticed the reason why. He never got this sick when he was still young and with his Mother so he doesnt really know how to take care of the sick. We really have a different family tradition when it comes to caring. After the brouhaha, I laid out all the ways I wanted to be taken cared of such as putting vicks vaporub in my back etc...then he improved immediately. If I will grade him it will be average. Lol still low but the reason is, I dont want to direct. I want intitiative. Oh well, effort is still effort and Im still happy about that. 😆

Getting sick in Japan

I would like to share my experience in finding a billingual clinic if you encounter sickness in Japan.

Last time I experienced UTI, I went to visit this woman's clinic in Hiro-o. (Comment if you want to know the exact name and place) The price is not that high. However, my problem now doesnt involve my reproductive system. Lol 😕 i need a GP for my sorethroat.

😣 《Rant about my Sorethroat starts here》 😣 scroll below to go straight to AMDA.

I hate getting sorethroat. My upper respiratory is probably the weak part of my body. I had pharyngitis when I was 5. My doctor told me that I cant talk for long or shout for long after having pharyngitis or else I will lose my golden voice (if there is...lol) Ever since that incident, I usually get sorethroat at least 1 or 2 a month! My mom and grandma were so worried about me that they put me into "Bear Brand" and pineapple juice diet. It worked but I probably got my strong immunity when I settled in Singapore.

Its unusual for me to get sick nowadays even if I eat ice cream on a cold day, I can get away with it. But once I do get sick, it really look and feel bad on me.

Its been 3 days already since I experienced this sorethroat. 2 days of having sleepless nights and painful nights. I woke up today feeling like I gulped a saw in my throat. Thus I decided to visit a doctor.

But wait? How to look for a doctor in Japan when I cant speak Japanese?

A Japanese acquaintance who all of a sudden messaged me sent me the link to AMDA. Its an organization where they can help you in terms of medical needs.

You might ask what did my hubby do to help me? Last night he bought me a medicine. It helped but i think it only conceals the pain. Its Friday and he is working now. I hate to say this, if I want to get to the hospital asap, I can only rely on my own today. I was feeling kindda emo last night because of this...but oh well.

😊 ☆Lets get back to AMDA.☆😊

The english staff helped me find a nearest clinic nearby my place. She gave me two but the first one needs to be called for appointment and AMDA's policy is not to do reservations for us - callers. So, I crossed out that clinic in mind and decided to go to the one which is 15mins away from me. Its in Machida Station.

I tell you, its not really 15 mins. The changing lines and walking in between stations is time consuming.

Plus as soon as I got out of the station, I still have the challenge to look for the building. I took about another 15mins to look for it. When I cant take it any further, I bravely asked the police. The police spoke in Japanese however he can say, "Mister Donut" and "Tendon Soba" I can see these establishments from afar so I went there.

I dont know how I got here honestly. AMDA's personnel told me to look for Dai San Building. San is 3 in Japanese. I saw a Kanji and number 3 in that building beside Tendon. And when I went up, I thought I got it wrong cos there is no signage but when I looked further, there are few old people in masks. So, that really gave me a hint...

The lady nurse kindda expected me. I saw a piece of paper with the word AMDA on it. I felt secured already. She pointed her throat and I nodded. Non verbal cues at its best!!!

I wrote my name and the Hubs phone plus address. I am still waiting for my queue.

I will edit this after! 👋

3 Days Married

Im already married. 😂 Yes. My engagement and marriage is not traditional and its quite a long story so I will try to skip that for now. Watch it out next time. 😊

Its been obvious that I have outgrown my beauty blogging/ freelance working addiction. From now on, I will use this blog to relate my marriage and Japan experiences.

Yes, Im in Japan now. My hubby is a Japanese citizen but he is actually half Filipino. 😛

Btw, I am using my phone to update so I apologize if I sound like I am texting.

Yesterday is officially my first day as a housewife. Its a nice feeling to hear that. Honestly, I love being called a wife and having to tell someone that I have a "husband" now. ❤💙💚💛💜

Unfortunately, I catched a cold or what they call "kaze" here in Japan. 😷 Its Autumn here and the temparature ranges till 14°c and it gets colder because of the rain. Coming from Philippines and Singapore, that is quite an adjustment to my tropical body. I wondered why I didnt catch a cold last time when I was here and its snowtime despite eating lots of ice cream under the snow falling. Maybe Winter is much better than Autumn. I dont like it when it rains. I think rain makes me sick but snow doesnt? Hahah. Im biased.

Last night, the hub catched me lying in bed and asked me what am I doing and if I were sleeping. He came from work. I told him I am sick. I saw his worried face. "You should have texted me that you are sick" Aww my heart melts. Lol. I asked him to take a bath so I can hug him already. Im particular with germs lol While taking a bath, I prepared his food. Despite feeling ill, I managed to cook Beef Brocolli and Arrozcaldo for me.

While eating, my hub asked me if Im okay cos I look wasted lol. I realized that my bun made me look like a girl who hasnt bathed in years. 😂 I immediately put it down and my look became more feminine to my hubs eyes lol

I put the dishes to the sink and the hub washed it right away. I was surprised with his enthusiasm. He lied in the bed with me while watching his rented DVD - Naruto. We cuddled from 9:30pm till 12midnight. I slept in the middle and woke up several times with pain in my throat. Its so dry it hurts when I sleep.

The hub offered massage with Vicks Vaporub. I loved it! He is really a hubby at that time. Also kept asking me how am I feeling. He offered me this Japanese medicine called Pabron Ace. Im quite hessitant to take something which I cant read. The med is all in Japanese but I eventually gave in cos of the pain.

⚠Warning: Gross explanation ahead. ⚠

He decided to rest by 12:30am and I was joking him to kiss me so I blow my breath inside his and I can pass the virus to him. He acted fearfully in a cute way saying, both of us can't get sick or else it will be much worst for us. Haha lol He just pecked me. Pecking and kissing is no different when passing the virus lol

This morning before leaving for work, he was about to kiss me to say goodbye but I offered my cheeks. See I honestly dont want him to catch the virus with me.

This is the reason why being married is beautiful. 😍

I dont feel well today but everytime I think of how my hubs hug me tightly at night...its enough for me to be happy.

Anyway, this is long already. Time to rest. 👋

Words are cheap. Words can struck.

 First case:

 

Sis in law and I were in a bus this morning, discussing about how bland H's (Nephew's caretaker) cooking is. We were just laughing about it until Sis in law said, "Pero nasa loob ang kulo nyan."

"What do you mean," I said.

"May nabasa ako sa cellphone niya"

She mentioned that H is gossiping about us to a former housemate (who is actually backstabbing us the whole time). H has a code name for all of us. Sis in law said, she doesn't want to tell me what my code name is...else it will hurt me. I agreed. It kind of ruined my mood in the morning. And all my insecurities fell into me. The first thing that came into my mind is my acne. My code name must have something to do with acne. I got insecure but I quickly snap myself out of it.

"She is just a maid. With an idle mind."

"She must be that sad, that's why she gossips."

Well nevertheless even if these words mean nothing, it can struck you.

Second case:

Let us flashback a memory last December 2013 while were having a company Christmas lunch. We were laughing and catching up with our holiday plans when this HK Aunty turned SG citizen office seatmate turned its attention to me and asked, "How come you have pimples, ah!"

Felt like I wanted to splash her with hot water but I just used my invisible magic and suddenly she disappeared in my sight. In short, she became non existent to me the whole lunch - or actually until now. I didn't respond to her and pretended that I didn't hear anything or see anyone (mean yeah). But the people around us heard it and they experienced a lingering silence when I didn't respond to her lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually it all boils down to my insecurity. My face.

Well good thing I have a boyfriend...He likes me with acne or not. That's what I keep on thinking after lol

For those with similar experience, I want to share with you this line in Sara Bareilles song, Brave.

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins

♥, Cecily

How long has it been?

Answer: its been a year since I blogged *shock*

I know, I know I owe a huge update but my skin is not my main concern right now...I kind of stopped obsessing on how bad it is and decided to go on with my life. Part of the reason is, I found someone who accepts me completely *enter a mushy song* and part of it is accepting that even the most pretty girls that I see here in my office in SG - they have bad skin as well! and they walk with confidence!

But actually, I still buy beauty stuffs. I still splurge once in a while and my toiletries are still a lot compared to normal lol but I never make cosmetic swatches and test anymore.

I also keep receiving emails from girls who have been using Isotretinoin and experienced a lot of purging...I feel for them. After quite some time I realized that, I regret using this drug. I think the side effects are not worth it..I missed the peak period of my life which is when I was 23 - I am 28 now (?) Gosh how I completely forgot (see, I purposely tried to forget that phase of my life cause I missed a lot of things!) But anyway...I was desperate at that time and my comedones are really bad..and situation is not getting better because of stress in work, quarter life crisis etc...
Well things happen for a reason, right?

Got to go. Maybe I should do a comprehensive update about my skin soon - or more? haha.

♥ Cecily

Skin Update April 2012

Quite inspired to blog about my skincare routine (even if its about 3AM and my eyes are quite dropping lol) 

Updates:

Skin B5 Acne Control Capsules: 

I stopped taking them for now. I hate their customer service actually scatch that, they dont have a customer service line. I emailed them about my side effects and they didnt reply at all. Here's what happened to me:

Jan 21, I took it twice a day as directed. Morning and evening. First three days, I had episodes of waking up in the middle of the night and around Jan 25, it was the worst, I barely slept --- only had 2 hours of sleep. I checked out the ingredents and the formulation has all the bcomplex in it - in HIGH dosage!

I had history of insomnia while taking b complex before (Ring: Berrocca)  Back in college, I took berroca to make me sharper (as what the tv commercial says) hell yeah it did! until the wee hours and I was totally paranoid because I didnt sleep for weeks!

So basically, that's the end of my SkinB5 journey. I still take them though if I know I need more energy at work. Not for my skin but more for boosing my strength. As for the manufacturer, I dont trust them anymore since they never bothered to reply. Fail.

Morrocan Argan Oil:

Nothing really significant. It didnt break me out, it also didnt help me significantly (?) I sometimes use it as my eye moisturizer. I try to keep it natural when it comes to my eyes.

Proactiv:

So last Feb 18, I finally road tested the Proactiv line. Yeah right! My skin was quite breaking out at that time: forehead, chin area. I feel like my skin is "dirty" or should I say, my glands are very active. Epiduo is not working anymore with me so I thought, I needed a new regimen, thus I bought Proactiv.

I am quite a heavy user. I bought the sample kit and finished it in less than two weeks. Nope I dont eat it lol but I think I put too much or my face needs that much haha. 

After finishing the sample kit, I bought the whole line. I was totally in love with it. Within few weeks, my acne cleared (Now I sound like in a proactiv cm now) But yeah, I totally love the cleanser which is like a scrub and the toner (which has glycolic on it) I personally feel that these two are the one that helped me clear up. I didnt rave the treatment cream that much because I dont like the smell but kudos for blending well into my Missha BB cream! (Also love but should be a seperate review)

Proactiv actually stings. Yeah it helped but it is quite stinging.After using it for about a month and a half, I decided to quit on it. WHY?

1. My face is clear and has no active pimples right now except for my chin. I dont know what the hell is happening over there but over my right chin, I have these quite cystic acne over there. Its very irritating. I feel the proactiv didnt help at all in clearing this.

2. I also have some tiny bumps (I think they are whiteheads) that are also not clearning. Along the eyebrow section.

3. Its stinging and the smell is aweful for me.

4. I feel it just stopped working for me.

So goodbye Proactiv, until then. I still have some few drops left though so might be using it next time..

Mario Badescu:

Well as of today, I'd like to welcome Mario Badescu in my life! Im really expecting a lot with this line so hopefully it will be my HG.

Went to Sephora to buy Buffering Lotion but turns out that if I buy the Drying Lotion, I will get free 30ml Cleanser and Toner! So I was quite torn. Luckily, the sales attendant is a Filipina so she said if I really want to try the Buffering Lotion, she will give me a sample in a pot! WOW. and so I gave in...lol

I feel its worth it. She gave me more samples as I pay. YAY! Really happy with my loot today :)

Thank you Instagram for the effect. Hah. So in the end, I bought the Drying Lotion (S$68) with all these freebies. Quite expensive though but Im giving it a shot.

Tried it this evening and the Acne Cleanser is not really foamy (I dont know if thats a good thing, we'll see), Cucumber Toner is A-OK! not stinging and removed my dead skin cells, and finally the Drying Lotion, there is a slight sting while dotting it on my acne but overall its not that bad. We'll see again tomorrow morning...

Havent tried yet the rest: Drying Mask, Vit C Serum (EXCITED TO TRY!), Buffering lotion, Glycolic Lotion, Herbal Hydrating Serum and Healing Mask. -- whew thats a lot :)

What else:

I'll be going home to PH this April 27 to have my second Fraxel Co2. That's why Im preparing my skin to be clear. And also, I am starting to take Probiotics to clear my gut and hopefully, my face as well. As what they say, if your gut it clear, then other problems will heal. (I hope so...)

So, until then! I shall sleep now :)

♥, Cecily

Skin and Hair Update - Quick Post

Hello Dahlings! Quick post. Public holiday today btw :)

Skin Care

For acne prevention and cure, I am now taking Skin B5 (S$39). Its a multivitamins with B5 and Zinc. So far the effect not yet established. It says it will prevent oiliness so I am keeping my fingers crossed. I am not planning to take antibiotics or isotretinoin in the future because these really messed up my gut.

Other than that, I am also using Argan Oil (S$29) as my night moisturizer. I am quite getting worried with my skin lately not only because of zits but because it lacked luster - sign of aging lol (not getting younger at 26!) Fractional Laser did well but I need to maintain it so I thought using organic product will help thus I bought this on a whim. After putting this on, I noticed two zits! I really dont know if its the oil or the Skin B5 but anyway, I am still giving this oil a chance. Sounds promising below:

Made from the nuts of the argan tree, which grows almost exclusively in Morocco, the oil is said to have restorative and age-defying effects. It is high in vitamin E and essential fatty acids, it is believed to help all sorts of skin conditions: dry skin, acne, psoriasis, eczema, wrinkles.
Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/is-argan-oil-miraculous.html#ixzz1kKtVCL5k

Skin Regimen now

Cleanser: Avene Cleanance Cleanser   -- Love this!!

Toner: Neutrogena Alcohol Free Toner

Morning:

Avalon Organics Vitamin C Serum 

Simple Facial Hydrolotion Sunscreen mixed with Biore UV Milk in Pink

Topped with Maybelline powder and blush.

Night

MWFSun: Avalon Organics Vitamin C Serum  + Argan Oil

TThSat: Epiduo + Argan Oil

Hair Care

Not really hair care but  today I am going to color my hair with Revlon Color Silk Strawberry Blonde in 72 Bought two boxes already. And I am deep conditioning my hair everyday with Essential Ultra Honey & Shea Butter Hair Mask Rich Premiere (couldnt find a link sorry)

Going to use this ^ from Daiso :)

Anyway, tadah before I ruin my roommates sleep lol. She did a graveyard shifting. Poor her, poor skin and poor health lol.

Have a stress free Tuesday!! 

♥, Cecily

The Fractional C02 Laser experience

Hello Dahlings! Its been a while.


Short recap: Working since June this year, never stopped working, never really hauled because I am saving for the future. Saving for the Laser Resurfacing and went home in the PH to do it and have my holiday vacation as well. So, here it goes.

Read my first Laser Resurfacing (Fraxel Re:fine) here: http://cecilywishes.blogspot.com/2011/01/fraxel-refine-today.html

One month preparation before the Laser resurfacing, 2 Blue Light peels in Neuglow, Singapore. Two weeks interval each. (SGD 175 each)

Since I didnt go to the derm for almost 6 months, I have to do a one month preparation to remove the comedones in my face (blackheads, whiteheads) Some are still there though and were not completely removed but its generally ok for laser.

Now I had to choose between getting the Laser in SG or in PH. In SG, I can get the package in installment basis using credit card. Cost would be 1K++ with GST for 3 sessions. Thats already discounted accdg to the Pinay assistant there. Btw, they use Fractional C02 Laser. Still a bit pricey, yeah? So I moved on...In the PH, I can choose between Fraxel Re:Store by Dr Yu in Glorietta or Fractional C02 Laser by Dr. Rhesa Martinez. Both costs PHP 15K.

I scheduled the Fraxel with Dr Yu but for some personal reasons, I backed out on the last min. Something tells me I am not comfortable to do the laser in his small clinic in Glorietta. Also, his landline number is not responding last Dec 26 and I took that as a sign already. When I called Dr Rhesa's line, it was also busy but after an hour or so, her assistant immediately answered my phone call. I felt relieved also while discussing my concerns with her. So I scheduled the procedure on Dec 27. Price is 15K but includes the maintenance kit. Plus, she is open to a package in the future. So, I definitely like this clinic!

Day of the procedure
I had to leave our province by 10am to do the laser by 2:30pm. Travel time takes about 2 hrs or 4 hrs if the jam is bad. I met my longtime friend during my free time and went to the Beverly Hills Medical Clinic in Paseo de Roxas at 2:30pm. (where the procedure will take place)

It was my first meeting with Dra Rhesa and seriously she is such a pleasure to talk to. She reminds me of my derm here in the province. Dra Rhesa really assured me of the procedure and she is very accommodating and really knows her craft.

Here are the things that happened after:


1. 2:30 acne extraction (some bumps and blackheads)
2. 2:45 start putting numb cream
3. 4:45 Drank a pain killer
4. 5:00 start the fractional C02 Laser.

Waiting period is long because the numb cream has to be set for 45 mins and Dra had another patient doing Thermage so had to wait for that to finish. I dont really mind waiting because my Mom and I (yes I brought her lol) we were inside the private room with sofa and ate our Jollibee meal that was delivered to us. You can ask the clinic assistants to call any nearby fastfood or restos if you are hungry.


First hand experience: Difference between Fraxel Re:Fine and Fractional C02 Laser.
Aside from the fact that the former is non ablative and the latter is ablative, there are quite obvious differences between the two laser resurfacing. As far as I remembered, when I did Re:fine, I really didnt feel any sensation. The pain is very tolerable. While in C02, I really had to talk to Dra and tell her that there is a slight pain, stinging sensation especially during the "second pass" Dra did two passes of laser in my face and three until four passes of laser for the really pitied ones. The second pass is where the stinging began. The third and the fourth is more stinging.

Im quite sensitive to sound and smell so the first thing I noticed with C02 is the burnt smell. I asked Dra what is it and she said, it might be my facial hair. To my horror I didnt even know that I had a facial hair in my chin. Yikes (I am a she man lol) We discussed of probability of PCOS (a hormonal imbalance disorder) but I told her my history of oral contraceptives and how it messed up my period and after going to a gyne, my period became regular and well regulated. Plus I dont have cystic acne as often as possible now, its only the blackheads that becomes pustules or papules---on  which I am still concerned with. So she said, if I dont have cystic acne quite often then it might not be a PCOS and if we do the hormonal testing, it will be very costly like PHP 13K+ or about SGD 400+. I am not very keen with that at the moment sorry :(

So in reality, even though I took isotretinoin last 2008-2009, the acne never completely went away 100%.

Btw, the sound of the C02 is like a sound of electricity ground. That really made me irk most of the time. Dra Rhesa thinks I am hurting but honestly I am only sensitive to the noise. The pain is quite tolerable for me.

The procedure is quite fast compared to Fraxel Re:fine. It took about 15-30 mins or so. And yeah its true, the face became swollen and reddish like how you feel when you have sun burn but its not really bad compared to what I have experienced during the time I had tretinoin cream in my face (this one is really burning and painful!)

After procedure photos:

The face is reddish. This is under dim lights. Looks bad but since I experienced much worst in my life, I dont think this is really bad lol. And again sorry for the mustache. I had to put that to break the seriousness of the face lol.

After the procedure, I had a small chitchat with Dra Rhesa about life, career and other stuffs lol. I even asked her to follow me on twitter which I really find it so cool hahah. :)

Some more photos:

I was prescribed with Tetralysal for 7 days only so that my blackheads will not erupt during my recovery period.

Day 2:
The lasered part of the face is quite dark now not red. About to heal. I put the copper peptide serum and the growth serum for fast recovery. No sunblock yet and I just stayed at home to rest.

I'll update you next time. :)

♥,Cecily